Saturday, September 28, 2013

Exciting News!

Just a little announcement before Hoop Camp...

Monday, September 16, 2013

Story Telling Circle: Everything About You Resonates Happiness

Alright. 16 Days until Hoopcamp-- I can't put this off any longer. Here's my Hoop Story:

The thing I regret about my video entry is the quality of the video, and my inability to write my story down with my entry.

I know the exact day I felt like I was a Hooper. It was May 1, 2010. However, prior to that date I was in search of something I could call my own...

A series of life pains, including being raped and sodomized in January 2006 by a boy I went to high school with, had left me with my self-esteem shot, and I found myself in a relationship with a man thirteen years my senior, with three children, a life time of hurt, and issues with alcohol abuse(February 2006).

I stayed in an unsavory situation for a while for love; I cared for my ex's two young sons, and was also in complete adoration of his daughter as well (who lived with her mother). During this time I had a series of alarming news about my health; I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, and was told that I had fertility issues making it difficult for me to have children of my own, along side my Blood Pressure was an issue as well. The news over my health made me cling to the relationship with the boys more.

I stayed until May 2008, when his physical abuse towards me escalated and he punched me in the gut, sending me into the refrigerator in front of his two young boys.

On May 27, 2008 I moved to O'ahu, Hawai'i. I wanted to get myself healthy. I wanted to feel lovable again, I didn't want to have a story of tragedy looming over my head, I didn't want to go back, and, I didn't want to be a victim.

I stayed on the island until September 2, 2008 when I moved to Salt Lake City, Utah and into my best friend's home at 
The Compound with her husband and their children. From September 2008 to May 2009, there was a lot of crying, laughing, and surface hurt. I learned that healing is a painstakingly long process and the harder you fight it, or try to bury it down the more difficult it is going to be. And, healing is necessary.

It was during this time I really connected to Cash (my biological father, and not the man who raised me)-- we had a lot of tough conversations, tears, fights, arguments, letters, laughs, and I learned to forgive him for abandoning my sister and I when we were younger.

In May 2009, I moved back home to Eugene, Oregon to go to school at Lane Community College. I had spent a few weeks quite ill and in the hospital in SLC and was diagnosed with Diverticulitis. Once home, and amongst friends I found Hoop Dance.

My friend, Miranda Davidson, was working a little magic with a purple child's plastic hula hoop, and it was memorizing. Unfortunately, my larger frame couldn't get that hoop to travel around my body, or even stay up for a mere second. It was the most frustrating thing I had ever experienced in my life. I really started to get curious about hula hooping later that summer, and really, really tried, but I just never was a girl who could hoop.
We lost Cash November 19, 2009. It ripped my world apart. It threw me into an anger spiral, and deep depression that I was lost in for a long time.

On December 24, 2009 I was gifted Hulie, my very first hula hoop, and the first real taste of success, and not a moment too soon. And, on May 1, 2010, I knew I was a Hooper.

It was in that I started to really work some things out. It was on that day I realized what a powerful, beautiful gift and tool Hulie was for me. Hulie breathed life back into me. 

I was the 25/26 year old on the Lane Community College campus toting around a hula hoop, and I didn't even care.  

While spinning in a circle in my hoop I really started to let a lot of hurt go, and I was able to weed out the undesirable and the unnecessary from my life. I learned to love myself again, especially after struggling to keep a hula hoop up for so long (it took me about 9 months to keep it up), but once I learned how to, there was nothing in the world that was cooler.

In my hoop I feel Spirit. In my hoop I feel connected, and I know all things are connected. In my hoop I feel the Earth moving under my bare feet. And, while in my hoop I am home no matter where I am.

The lessons I've learned since I've become a Hooper are the things I had always told myself, but never truly believed until I learned what powerful Being I am, and I learned that in my hoop. I learned to love my body, and embrace flaws. I learned in my hoop to stop slut-shaming myself for being raped. The only thing I was guilty that night was trying to help Nick out. I learned in my hoop to recognize that the hurt and ugliness that my ex, Josh, put there was not mine, but his and I didn't need to carry it around anymore.I learned in my hoop that when I miss those two little boys I can dance it out, and they are with me so powerfully in those moments. 

I have lost a total of 115 lbs, since hula hooping has came into my life. I went from a size 26 to my current size 10. Hoop dancing has given me back a spiritual life. I now feel the joy of truly living in my body. I have a tool near by to always help me get the anger out.

The most amazing thing about hula hooping hasn't been the fact that it helps me tremendously with panic and anxiety. It isn't the 115lbs I've shed. It's not the ability to no longer blame myself for the rape in 2006, or the ability to let go of the hurt and ugliness put there by past toxic people. And, it's not just about the forgiveness I've been able to able to give to others, or the forgiveness I've given myself.

The most amazing thing about hula hooping, to me, is I had the power within myself to do all of those things on my own. It just so happens the tool I use to help me is a small piece of plastic, but it is also something I can use the rest of my life to continue healing myself.

I am so grateful and blessed to have hoop dance apart of my journey.
Hula Hooping has changed my life.

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

These are basic necessities...

I was legit fired on Wednesday, and it's thrown me into an awful depression (more about that stuff some other time?), instead of focusing on that I am trying to focus on what I need to do to improve my situation, and keep this smile on my face. 

So, today I created a new workout, and as a challenge I am going to get up everyday and do said workout, and if/when I tire of that I will invoke runtastic matched with the classic C25K trainer I have on my iPod. The workout is called Sari's Autumn Morning Kick Off, it can be found (along with other workouts I've created) at:

Here's a run-down of the intense 46-minute morning booster...

Sari's Autumn Morning Kick Off Workout (Intense)
Warm-Up (2 rounds):
Waist hooping,   2:00
Hoop Jump Rope,   1:00
Chest Hooping,   2:00

Workout (3 rounds): 
Dumbbell Push Press,   1:00
Rest,   :05
Dumbbell Sumo  Squats,   1:00
Rest,   :05
Triceps Kickbacks,    1:00
Rest,   :05
Dumbbell Side Lunge and Touch,   1:00
Rest,   :05
Dumbbell Lunges,   1:00
Rest,   :30

Workout (2 Rounds)
Burpees,   1:00
Dumbbell Plank Row and Triceps Kickback,   1:00
Rest,   :05 (transition)
Ball Reverse Crunch,   1:00
Rest,   :25
Ball Back Extensions,   1:00
Cool Down (1 Round):   
Hoop Dance,   4:00
Right Side Stretch,   :15
Left Side Stretch,   :15
Cat Cow,   1:00
Knee Hugs,   1:00
Quad Stretches,   1:00
Triceps Stretches,   :30
Meditation Pose,   1:00

Other than that I am proactively looking for work, one in an environment that's not as toxic (I am SO grateful for still having a job at Old Navy at The Gateway). I am trying to give myself a hand-up and stay afloat by seeking assistance, such as; food-stamps, and unemployment. I am going to bring up and use that to bring in some organization in life. I am focusing on my health and trying to get the things done I couldn't get done while working full time.

Honestly, I feel heavy with depression, but I keep telling myself that I need to focus on the seasons changing and loving my life and things will be better. I've also have turned off my facebook for a little bit of time. I want to focus on getting ready for Hoop Camp and looking for work

By putting light, and love, and laughter around things, I create positive magic in my life.