Saturday, November 28, 2015

Wow, you have your own apartment? Yeah, it's probably nicer than my room at the Y.


This is my first post since the beginning of August. It's like every time I went to update we spiraled more, and there just never was a good time. Things are still rough, and up in the air, but that strengthens my love for being back at Old Navy Sugarhouse.

It is really hard being back in Utah, and if it's at all possible, Bradford hates it more than I do. However, I love my job, we have our cats, and we have a roof over our head. Things are hard, but we'll survive-- like we have been since April.

I wish I could say something more inspirational, or positive, but honestly the reality of the situation is exactly what I have already stated.

Anyways, I have other things I can update about: my sister, Amanda, is awful to me, I visited my parents at the end of August/the beginning of September (I did not care for my experience of South Carolina in the least), we did not have a Thanksgiving, we will not be celebrating Christmas this year, and my Facebook is deactivated until I can get my head on straight-- as it's that time of year that people become too much, and I can no longer handle social media.

Honestly, the only thing positive in my life, outside of Bradford, Schrodinger, and Gabriel, are seeing Jess regularly and being back with the Littles.

I feel like I should apologize for not having more to offer this blog entry, other than a slice of truth.

We aren't Mountain people, or big city folk.

We are Pacific Ocean and deep green Rain-forests. We are Bi Mart folk, and rain worshipers. We are quiet people that like to stay home, learn on our own, and cook good foods. And, we are without all those things. We are without a home (though we have a place to stay). We cannot afford good foods. I miss the ocean everyday, and Bradford misses the Oregon quiet.

And, that's what hurts the most for me-- Bradford. Bradford is working at Old Navy too. We are trying to keep afloat, but where I have the kids, Jess, and Ian-- he literally has nothing outside of me and the cats. He tries to hard to keep me happy, doing the laundry, the housework, and being a pillar of support as we guide ourselves through the madness that is extreme poverty, but at times we see no end, and that can be tough.

It can be suffocating.
We feel like we are suffocating.